First Time Spanking

Dear Reader

Over the past couple of days, I have noticed a plethora of articles and posts about people wanting to experiment with spanking for the first time.  I have been curious about this sudden interest – maybe spanking is just on the rise?  Or maybe it’s people getting bored with the same old closed-in winter sex? It might even be new year, new sexual experimentation.

Recently, this fascinating topic was covered by the fantastic folks at  Eden Fantasy and turned into a a little animation.  Guy is asking Leila about spanking his girlfriend.

There are some good points here.  I know from first hand experience some men are excited about spanking their lover.  What stops them, however, is that nagging voice in the back of their head; “ You should never hit a woman”.  It’s hard for many people to make that voice go away, even when consent is given.

I’m happy spanking is becoming more mainstream and there is more information available to lovers wanting to experiment.  I also argue that just because you like having your bottom warmed does not make you any more or any less of a man or woman.  Often times, people shy away from spanking for fear of losing control, or being vulnerable.  This can be worked through with open communication and negotiation of the play experience.

I will probably write more on the topic of first time spanking and exploring your cheeky side at a later time. Until then, check out this amazing article from Pandora Blake called “A Beginner’s Guide to Spanking”.  Information on safe, sane, and consensual spanking can also be found at Kink Academy.

For more resources see the interview I gave with Dr. Ruthie at Exploring Intimacy.

2 replies on “First Time Spanking”

  1. My boyfriend has been spanking me a lot recently, and even more since we have come across this site. It’s kind of a little role playing we do, and we both love it!

  2. One comment I found interesting was about, not hitting women. Generally, I would agree with that. It’s different when it comes to spanking. Even though I’m more of a fem dom, I actually love to have a hand on my butt. Alternating between gentle caresses and more stern whacks. I love all things anal.

    This is a good article and resource. Many people are seeking to heat things up sexually. Yet, they don’t want to do anything which is too extreme or hardcore. Certainly spanking can turn into that. If it’s used as discipline. With it’s various positions and implements. This is a fetish which can add a lot of excitement to a relationship.

    Just like anything, it’s important to be trusting of and comfortable with the person you’re engaging in spanking with. If you are, you can take it to many levels. The article mentioned being vulnerable. Once you allow yourself that, you can really start to explore. Spanking is very erotic. You won’t know, unless you try, just how well you might take to it. A little sting can be very stimulating.

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