First Time Spanking

Dear Reader

Over the past couple of days, I have noticed a plethora of articles and posts about people wanting to experiment with spanking for the first time.  I have been curious about this sudden interest – maybe spanking is just on the rise?  Or maybe it’s people getting bored with the same old closed-in winter sex? It might even be new year, new sexual experimentation.

Recently, this fascinating topic was covered by the fantastic folks at  Eden Fantasy and turned into a a little animation.  Guy is asking Leila about spanking his girlfriend.

There are some good points here.  I know from first hand experience some men are excited about spanking their lover.  What stops them, however, is that nagging voice in the back of their head; “ You should never hit a woman”.  It’s hard for many people to make that voice go away, even when consent is given.

I’m happy spanking is becoming more mainstream and there is more information available to lovers wanting to experiment.  I also argue that just because you like having your bottom warmed does not make you any more or any less of a man or woman.  Often times, people shy away from spanking for fear of losing control, or being vulnerable.  This can be worked through with open communication and negotiation of the play experience.

I will probably write more on the topic of first time spanking and exploring your cheeky side at a later time. Until then, check out this amazing article from Pandora Blake called “A Beginner’s Guide to Spanking”.  Information on safe, sane, and consensual spanking can also be found at Kink Academy.

For more resources see the interview I gave with Dr. Ruthie at Exploring Intimacy.


  1. Cara March 5, 2012
  2. Monica March 5, 2012