Recently I asked a few friends to send me any questions they had on spanking play, or domestic discipline. Any sort of spanking questions that dealt with two (Or more) consenting adult. I in no way condone the spanking of children or minors or people who cannot consent legally. The answers are my opinion, They do not reflect any of my advertisers.
Now that all of that is out of the way onto the question. I will be doing 5 questions each Saturday. These first 5 questions were sent to me from Olive Grey.
Olive is an amazingly sexy woman and talented writer and photographer. Go check out her site at OliveGrey.me.
Question: How do you know or learn how to spank properly with the perfect
amount of pain?
Answer: From my perspective it comes down to practice and open communication with the bottom you are spanking. There are different ways you can cup your hand as a spanker, which can change the sensation of impact. An example of this would be cupping your hand slightly before impact for more of a thud sensation versus open palmed that can deliver more of a stinging sensation. This rule can also apply to objects or toys.
Question: What is the perfect amount of pain?
Answer: This is also something that should be talked over and negotiated between the top and the bottom. Some people have relationships where they use pain for discipline and deterrent. Some people just like the feeling of a slightly warm bottom. Some bottoms even enjoy the pain so much that they just want to keep going and going. It really comes down to what you are after in your spanking exploration.
Question: Do you bruise, or aim to bruise?
Answer: I myself do not always aim to bruise. My reason for this is I do not enjoying playing on already marked bottoms or canvases. Bruises can often times last for weeks and honestly it is a slight turn off for me. On the other hand for some bottoms bruises are badges or patches of honor. It is not uncommon at spanking or fetish parties to see bottoms showing off their bruises from recent play sessions. Sometimes when playing with toys such as paddles, bruising is just a fact of life. There are of course many forms of after care to help with bruising.
Question: What would you tell someone if they’ve never done it but are interested? In both being the spanker and spankee…
Answer: Do it! Life is short. If you want to experience the sensation or the headspace jump in the line and do it. Get your pants down and get over a knee!
In all reality I would probably try to give them information for their local spanking community. It’s usually good to read up on any kink and learn some safety tips. I would also give them some talking points then can use to bring up the topic with their partner. Since spanking has become more and more mainstream it’s really not that taboo to bring up to a partner. I do not recommend people just jump on fetlife or Okcupid and find a partner to wail on them.
Question: What’s the best position?
Answer: I prefer taking my bottoms over my knee for a good old fashioned spanking. But once again it really comes down to the bottom. Body sizes and comfort are two factors that can determine what position is best. I suggest trying a couple of positions and troubleshoot issues at the end of your session. Communication is of course key.