Thursday Though: Pay to play or Paying to spank

Dear Reader,

Moving forward, I think all Thursday Thought posts will be in letter format, since to me it feels like I’m writing to all of you as if you were dear friends and pen pals.  In this letter, I want to go over a trend I have noticed.  Recently, I have seen people coming out about models and professional bottoms charging for sessions at spanking parties or large spanko events.

From what I have read, and some conversations, the biggest gripe is that if you’re going to a large spanking event you don’t want to have to pay to play with someone.  Honestly, I think that argument is ridiculous.  If you are reasonably well kept and not a total jerk, you usually can have a rather decent sized group of spankable bottoms to enjoy over the course of the event.   On the same not if there are so many eager bottoms then why would you pay?  The answer is simple, if there is a spanking model or pro bottom out there that really tickles your fancy, they are probably very sought after with a very full dance card. They are paid to take long spankings on camera or to take appointments from clients. Many professionals use their pro-subbing and fetish modeling income to make a living.
Just like in a gentlemen’s club, you’re not paying for the act.  You’re paying for so much more. Most professionals will help you set up your dream fantasy spanking. Some even go as far as outfits and costumes.  You’re not just paying to spank a bottom, you’re paying for a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Finding a spanking partner or kink partners in general is often a very long and drawn out process.  It’s not like you can just run out to your local munch and find a bottom that is going to let you take a hairbrush to their butt that night.   Ok, some of you might be able to pull that off but you are the exception to the rule.  Many times it takes a couple of months, a play party or two, and some background checking.  When dealing with a professional, it often includes negotiating the scene and putting together the price.  Do not be surprised if the professional wants to look into who you may know or ask that they bring a security escort.  It is both for your and their safety.

Another obvious reason that someone may decide to pay for a spanking session is simply that they are not ready to approach people they do not know and are not comfortable with already.  Do you remember back to when you first came into the scene?  Do you remember the first open conversation about spanking you had with a potential play partner?  Some people are just too nervous or anxious. For them, it’s easier to work with someone who has done it a few times.  Professional bottoms and models are often really good at calming first time jitters.

Emotions are also often a huge part of it.  If you are married or in a serious relationship with someone who is not into spanking or does not desire to share your spanking kink, sometimes you have to go out and see a pro to get your needs met.  By no means am I advocating cheating or stepping out of your relationship.  However, it is oftentimes easier to convince a partner to allow you get your needs met with a professional that you have no emotional ties to rather than meet a play partner that you might develop some very serious emotions for and with.  Also, professionals have support they can use for sub drop and aftercare.

Intensity is also a factor.  If you’re looking to see what it is like to give someone a good belting or caning, you will probably have an easier time finding a professional willing to take said scene than a play partner.  Often times unless you get lucky and get a very experienced play partner, you won’t find someone who knows their limits or shares the same desire to have a cane taken to their ass.  Contacting a professional you will know right away. They are often very in tune to their limits and have nice tolerances for such activities.

I’m not even going to touch on this being prostitution. If there is no genital contact or oral or vaginal or anal sex then it’s not.  I have yet to meet a pro bottom or fetish model that sells sex as well as play sessions.  This is often a bonus for couples though.  I have a friend who has purchased time with a pro bottom on more than one occasion and come home to have amazingly awesome sex with his wife.

The reason many professionals are able to line up appointments at larger scale spanking events is that their fans will often make the trip if they can afford it.  Most large scale spanking events are held in metropolitan areas. Last, but not least, if you travel out of town there is much less of a chance of you being spotted by your neighbor.   If you’re someone in a high level position or who just can’t afford to be outed, it’s often better to see a discreet professional at an event out of town than to run around a local munch were you might run into your kids’ best friends mom.

Recently, I myself have even thought about setting up a couple of scenes with traveling bottoms.  The reason for this has been since my son was born I just don’t have time to go out to munches and events and try to build relationships.  I want to the experience of giving a nice spanking or having a fantastic scene but I just don’t have the time with work and home life to find someone one in the local scene.
In closing, Dear Reader, there are many reasons to pay a pro for what you desire.  If you don’t agree with it then don’t pay. Just to go the events and enjoy yourself.  But please, don’t bash hard working traveling professional models and bottoms for making a living doing what they love.

The Spanking Resource